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The Moment I Knew

COW Blogs : Editing Mae : The Moment I Knew
I didn't go to film school.

I didn't even go to college.

I am one of the very rare few that always knew they wanted to be a film/video editor.

Most film editors start off aspiring to be something different in the industry, but end up eventually falling into editing and deciding to stay.

Nope. Not me.

In high school (around age 13) I loved movies. No no, I loved movies but not in the "I like movies. Like, the really obscure ones-you know what? You've probably never heard of them before-" way. I loved movies because the ones I would watch made me capable of expressing and feeling emotions I never knew I could.

You see, if you haven't figured it out by now - I have a terrible way with words and expressing myself. I am incapable of telling people how I feel or what I mean correctly and the worst part of my in-articulation is that I have come to realize that the phrase "you know what I mean?" or "do you know how I'm feeling?" would never be answered truthfully. I genuinely believed that nobody on Earth felt the same emotions as I did at times.

Then something happened-

Now, bear with me because I'll try to explain this sensation as best I can but... I walked into a movie theater and saw the trailer for the upcoming '300' movie. I couldn't believe I didn't piss my pants right then and there. For some f*cking reason - for some RIDICULOUSLY INSANE REASON, I felt understood.

That was over 13 years ago and I still have no idea why it was that trailer that did it for me. Not only did it make me realize what editing was and how powerful it could be ( I mean, I wept for christ sake) but more than anything, it comforted me me because for the first time ever - I felt understood, not alone and that there was finally a way of expressing how I felt to other people so that they could understand me.

God, this probably sounds so stupid to you as you read this...I wish I could compare that scenario to one that you would understand.

The best I've got is... have you ever heard a song before that makes you feel nothing and everything at the same time?

Like, whenever it plays your body just goes...still?

Your eyes focus on a single object or gaze out the window for the entirety of the song?

Maybe it's a song that you keep to yourself because you're afraid that if you share it with others, they wont find the meaning in it like you did or even worse, they may mock it because they don't understand it.

I think art is always like that.

Or maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about. That's okay, I'm used to it by now.


Re: The Moment I Knew
by Kylee Peña
This is a really cool observation about how art affects us! I think there are a lot of us that have hoarded the songs and photos and movies that made us feel emotions beyond anything we expected, protecting them from ever being tainted by anyone else.

I had a sorta similar experience the first time I ever edited a short film. I was 15. I just zoned out completely, transfixed by how scrubbing or adjusting edit points could change everything. Then suddenly a thunderstorm hit and my power went out and I snapped out of it and realized I had been focused on this thing for like 10 hours.

Another cool experience is when you work on something for a while, watch it back in its nearly finished state, and then cry because you did such a good job that even YOU, the editor, are fully emotionally invested after all this time! ☺

twitter: @kyl33t
@Kylee Peña
by Veronica Ruffin
That's so cool. You knew what you wanted to do and you were dedicated to your passion.

Self taught editor. Here to talk about her experiences in the industry including the good and the bad, to find comfort when there is doubt, to talk about things all post production/editing related, to review multiple products and plug-ins, and to most importantly have somewhere to come to when I don't know where else to go.
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