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We interrupt my recollection of the past for a brief visit to the present. This being the weekend, I spent about 2 minutes contemplating the 250gig drive staring up at me from my briefcase, and decided to spend an hour or two surfing channels on DirecTv. I had worked out for 2 hours, done some recycling and opened some bills, so I deserved a little mindless tv. Normally I browse the guide, settle on the NASA channel, fall asleep listening to the soothing voice of the ISS mission coverage announcer, and call it a night. But here's a novel idea - actually watch something on each channel, and take notes. After all, I might pickup an idea or two for my own productions. Or not, as the case may be. NBC - Sat. 7pm. Don't know if this was a national show, or just on NBC NY. Openforum.com - a American Express commercial disguised as a talk show. Hosted by the assistant editor of Variety, the guests included Nancy Meirs, Lawrence Bender and Sydney Pollack. I dig Sydney Pollack, so I decided to watch for more than my alotted 5 minutes or less. The three directors were asked questions about their careers, with a studio audience applauding and laughing at all the right moments. What got me was the blatant American Express logos everywhere, on LCD panels in every shot. At one point I positioned my tv's blank PIP window over Pollack's shoulder, blocking the AMEX logo! I need a ticker-shaped PIP box. The first commercial break was, you guessed it, an American Express commercial, followed by a Verizon commercial, then a shaky-cam promo of Pollack, sponsored by Amex. Then back to the program. That's enough for me. Was this an infomercial, or what? FOX - Ebert and Roper, reviewing Superbad, which looks like a funny-ish movie, which I will wait to see until it comes on HBO. No sign of Ebert, and no indication of which guy was Roper and which was the guest host. Cut to a commercial for Hanes womens' underwear, not the silky kind, the kind that looks like boxer briefs and tank tops, but unmistakably underwear. Images of women rolling around on yoga balls, doing somersaults and frolicking about on a dance studio stage. Very realistic, I'm sure this is exactly what goes on in dance studios. 101 - the DirecTv live music channel. A Rodney Atkins live concert. I normally like to watch concerts and try to count the cameras being used. This concert was not my cup of tea. I will say that normally, especially in HD, concerts are some of the best television. Nice jib shots. CNN - commercial for T430.LaurelCollegiateloans.com. Are you kidding me? Next a commercial for capsacin creme, for arthritis pain. The audio on this commercial was 50% louder, obviously going after the hard of hearing geriatric demographic. Now back to the news - the Pat Tillman story. This news show features the host standing in front of a monitor wall. He sets up the story, then cuts to a 3-way PIP display, featuring rounded boxes, which is nice, a grungy earth background, a banner for the title, a tiny "this week at war" logo to add CNN branding to the war, and the obligatory news ticker, which people generally hate. The host is the main window on the left, and the two stacked rounded boxes on the right feature the two guests, obviously from other cities. We cut to one guest, who speaks for about 12.5 seconds, before we cut back to the studio. Now the host is standing at a glass podium accross from the second guest, formerly seen via satellite in the PIP, but he was actually standing right there the whole time. Clever, CNN. CNN Headline News - the Glenn Beck show. I have heard of this guy but never seen the program. As I said, I do not watch most of the channels. The guy sounds like a radio host, with that same demeaning tone you would expect from a larger than life radio host. He was ranting about tv advertising becoming part of tv programming, as a way to avoid people skipping commercials. His guest from Newsweek estimated that within 10 years we the viewer will be able to cusotmize the advertising we receive. For example, if I am a man without a dog, why should I be subjected to dogfood and feminine hygiene commercials. He has a point actually. Although, those Meaty Bone dog biscuits look tempting. ESPN - football hall of fame induction ceremony. Odd yellow jackets, looks like ABC Wide World of Sports circa 1979. Nice jib shots. ESPN News - baseball highlights. They have supers at the top of the screen with scores for the game being shown, supers at the bottom showing box scores, breaking news supers in the lower right, and then the full screen text showing the stats for each game, followed by the 3D DVE transition ESPN has been using for a decade. So how many graphics generators are at play? Is there one that does everything, or a different Chyron-type box for each type of graphic? Or does everything go through a computer automatically. I must know. ESPN2 - the X-Games. I have never watched the X-Games, but I might start. Freestyle motocross, in what looks like a baseball stadium. I always wondered how they get those mounds of dirt so firmly packed, yet cleaned up for the next ballgame. A guy wipes out big time - ouch! Nice jib shots. Next we see freestyle half-pipe bmx. Amazing you can do that safely. Even more amazing is seeing fully grown people riding 20" bikes. More nice jib and stedicam shots following the action. HGTV - House Hunters, just once I'd like to see some people searching for a house that costs under $300,000. Cut to commercials - "Designed to Sell" promo with the hosts giggling about something. That's the show that spruces up homes to get them to sell. Do you suppose the sellers need to pay income taxes on the improvements made to their homes? You hear stories about people on these home improvement shows getting stuck with huge tax bills. Next a commercial for AT+T Broadband, featuring a poor John Cleese wanna be, and the little Oasis jingle which should support Liam Gallagher's next rehab session. Ouch! Underdog commercial. A movie with animals that talk. Wow, amazing creativity in Hollywood. By the way, I was Underdog in 1st grade for Halloween. You know, one of those costumes where you have a mask of the character, and a highly flammable vinyl smock with pictures of the cartoon character. I can still smell the shower curtain-like material. DIY - This Old House Classics. I have watched this show from childhood. Truth be told when I would wake up at 6am on Saturdays in West Des Moines to watch Batman reruns, This Old House was the only thing on at 6:30am, and I have been a fan ever since. Single camera, handheld produciton with really long takes. Very good to watch if you do even a little handheld work. Recently I recorded a 3 hour hospital disaster training exercise handheld. It is a lot of fun figuring out how to show the important action, while looking with your other eye at what is coming next, planning your move, and trying not to fall in the process. Imagine doing that on the roof of a house. Food Channel - the end of Iron Chef America. Chef Flay wins again! Alton Brown as a tv host is not quite as enjoyable as AB on his own Good Eats show, edited by fellow Bovine Walter Biscardi by the way, but certainly better than the old version of the show where they had english actors translating for the Japanese hosts. Moving on to Emeril Live! People love this guy, but not as much as Emeril appears to like Oreos. That guy needs to lay off the heavy creme, he's gotten a bit plump. Interesting opening credits, featuring scenes from the show, shots of the band (yes, a band on a cooking show), some graphics and some greenscreen elements of Emeril composited over everything else. I could use that. Well, that does it for today, I also took some visual notes, that is little sketches of interesting supers or other design related things I observed, which will be filed away into my "funky ideas" file drawer for possible future adaptation. One can always learn from other peoples' work. To tell you the truth, that is why I watch so much tv, and it is eye-opening once in a while to watch some tv I would not normally watch. Thanks for reading, now go watch tv! Mike Cohen | |
