politics

For in case you are ever in Hollywood and need to know the industry lingo, here is the Hollywood Dictionary.

 VERBS:

to schmooze = befriend scum
to pitch = grovel shamelessly
to brainstorm = feign preparedness
to research = procrastinate indefinitely
to network = spread disinformation
to collaborate = argue incessantly
to freelance = collect unemployment

NOUNS:

agent = frustrated lawyer
lawyer = frustrated producer
producer = frustrated writer
writer = frustrated director
director = frustrated actor
actor = frustrated human

COMPOUND WORDS:

high-concept = low brow
production value = gore
entry-level = pays nothing
highly qualified = knows the producer
network approved = had made them money

FINANCIAL TERMS:

net = something that apparently doesn't exist
gross = Michael Eisner's salary
back-end = you, if you think you'll ever see it
residuals = braces for the kids
deferral = don't hold your breath
points = see "net" or "back-end"

COMMON PHRASES:

You can trust me = You must be new
It needs some polishing = Change everything
It shows promise = It stinks rotten
It needs some fine tuning = Change everything
I'd like some input = I want total control
It needs some honing = Change everything
Call me back next week = Stay out of my life
It needs some tightening = Change everything
Try and punch it up = I have no idea what I want
It needs some streamlining = Change everything
You'll never work in this town again = I have no power
whatsoever.